My fall was an awakening. Now that I didn’t have to be perfect, I could be good.
There was something magnificent to me in the boldness of this bravely winged, but blackened heart that so many things of life had been nailed to — it’d been pierced by life itself.
It’s been a long journey for me to get back to wanting to record again, but life in all its mysterious ways and nudges to help us grow and change has gratefully led me to this new creative space and time.
It's a holiday here in Berlin and it's noon and I'm still in bed after six days of non-stop travel and exploring Amsterdam, Berlin, and soon to be Prague tomorrow.
I feel a bit like a kid returning to school and tasked to write her “what I did this summer” report, but this summer was a big one for me as it marked my return to performing live after over two-and-a-half years.
One of my good friends recently said how there’s nothing more powerful than a woman who has been to hell and back. And I thought about that phrase, “to hell and back,” and how much its pertained to my own journey over the past few years…
The Echium candicans, once vibrant and ultraviolet in spring, are now burned black by the hot sun at the start of summer…. they make me think about letting go of what is dead and dying… the natural falling away of things.
For far too long in my life, my SELF has felt suppressed, minimized, belittled, ignored, unacknowledged, unloved, unseen.
I don’t consider myself a “healer”... but I do know that I’ve been healed in some powerful ways by making music.
While shyness, or being more reserved or quiet at times, can certainly be a strong (and perfectly fine/normal) personality trait, it doesn’t have to mean a life sentence of hiding nervously in the corner.