On Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not a magic wand that you wave and make the hard feelings go away. It’s a process, and some days it comes and goes. Some days you feel more forgiving than others. Life is easier. You are happy and you forget. Other times you look for someone to blame and you point to that someone or someones who wronged you, who "made” you unhappy, and forgiving is not so easy then.

Still, we know we must forgive.

It’s for our benefit, the doctors and philosophers tell us.

“Do unto others…” it’s been told and retold. If you want to be forgiven, forgive. 

Still, forgiving is not that magic wand we wish it was. Hurt lingers. Wounds take time to heal. It takes work. But you can mend them until the wounds gets smaller and smaller, and all the while you can practice forgiving — which causes your heart to grow... in love, compassion, understanding. All those old, good things. Until forgiving, somehow, becomes more like blowing out a candle flame at the end of a long, patient night.

Night-blooming cereus ,  by Aswin KP (Creative Commons)

Night-blooming cereus, by Aswin KP (Creative Commons)