“Change is the root of all fear,” says Kaypacha, one of my favorite astrologers (yes, I have several). :) When I evaluate this statement, a few thoughts come to mind…
The first is simply: If I have no fear of change in my life, then I have no fear. But there are other fears, too. Social anxiety and fear of rejection being big ones that I struggle with.
How does this relate to change being the root of all fear?
Well, if you are worrying about how you're being perceived or feel rejected in some way, and allow your sense of self to move from a state of feeling good/steady about yourself to a state of feeling bad or “less than” because of it, then there’s been a change. A change in the way you see yourself and in how you feel you’re being viewed by others. The trouble comes in by linking your self-worth with another’s estimation of you.
But if you can handle that change in perception — then you yourself can be steady. You don’t have to rise and fall based on the vicissitudes of others.
This is not always easy.
One of the things I tell myself sometimes to not get tossed around by rejection is that, hey, I guess I’m just not everyone’s cup of tea.
I don’t have to be emotionless when facing rejection, but I can be resolute and have a healthy detachment. Even a sense of humor about it. Meaning: you can have an attention, aliveness, and awareness of your experience, but you don’t require to be taken for a ride on the various ups and downs of other people’s good or bad opinions of you.
I am responsible for my own self-sovereignty. My own energy. My own bliss.
As I’m learning this, there are a few ways I’ve been putting it more into practice in my life:
Mindfulness: I’ve become more aware of my thoughts and am working on not criticizing or blaming others — avoiding any thought patterns that take away my power and place the responsibility of my own happiness anywhere outside myself.
Compassion: Along with mindfulness, practicing more compassion for myself and others helps to soften any harsh criticism or censure. It gets me more into my heart instead of my head, and allows much more love to flow in my days.
Gratitude: If I’m finding it hard to let a rejection or some kind of slight go, practicing gratitude for what I do have and for areas in life I am succeeding in are a beautiful antidote to any hard feelings, complaining, and bitterness.
Caring for Mind, Body, Spirit: If my “instrument” is not in tune, my mind-body-spirit, then I’m going to be more prone to not feeling my best and succumbing to negative thoughts/feelings. Above all else, making sure I have a regular self-care routine has been key in helping me create my own contentment, bliss, and keeping my own cup full.