When I've felt hurt by another person, it's been natural for me to close off a bit. To become more guarded. Build up boundaries, and watch others carefully.
But living from this "fortified" position can not last long, nor would I want it to.
While creating healthy boundaries in my life has become essential as I've done the work to heal from this hurt, I now find my heart opening up more... To the new friendships and romances that have come my way... To the much-needed give and take of love (whether platonic, erotic, or other...)
In essence, I'm getting back in touch with my need for affection.
For someone so independent, it's hard to say I need something. I've been working on giving myself more love, yes, but at the end of the day, we all need love and connection with other people — which is not always easy. I've been doing my best, though, to be patient with myself, to just keep trying, to trust, to love, and have courage.
Sweet songs and words like below are helping me to stay strong while learning to open up again... I hope they help you, too.
You know, I used to starve for affection
I blamed the world, and it could be the world's fault,
But then I relaxed a little
And I met more folks who liked me
And they helped me to reach out and give
And that helped me to get more of affection
And that helped me to live.