When I counted out the years I couldn’t hardly believe it. It’ll be two-and-a-half years since I’ve lived in California — which I knew well — but it’ll be over five years since I lived “home home,” back in the Bay Area.
Sometimes in life we are called to do something, or be something other than what’s expected of us in our native communities. We have a passion, a drive, a mission that is “other,” apart, or misunderstood from the tribes we are born into.
"All that has dark sound has duende, that mysterious power that everyone feels but no philosopher can explain." -Nick Cave
Where once I leapt upon myself as my own worst enemy to my prey, I’ve somehow learned to tame my claws.
...choosing who I wanted in my life again was another way I was reforming who I was and getting to know myself more and more in the process.
There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want.
You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing.
When I've felt hurt by another person, it's been natural for me to close off a bit. To become more guarded. Build up boundaries, and watch others carefully.
But living from this "fortified" position can not last long, nor would I want it to.
Lately, I’ve begun to feel like how I’ve always been: that this familiar old soulness of mine is catching up to my actual age.
We come to know ourselves more fully through stories and the stories we tell ourselves, the deeply embedded narrative of our lives.
Back again in my hometown of San Jose and staying at my folks’ house, I recovered quickly from the insomnia I developed while living in San Francisco.